Woman, you have a yoni for a reason. Your yoni is beautiful. She is to be listened to, honored, loved and used by you befittingly. No one can tell you what loving her looks like but your yoni alone. If you feel into her, she will surely give you all the guidance you need to direct you on a path towards wholeness and health. It is just a matter of going down to those dark mysterious waters of your inner primordial sea, and feeling the fluid flow.
There are certain times when the waves crash high and hard and other times when the tides recede and dry out. None of this is bad, and it's best you learn this now. This is simply your body simply giving you information that you can use to discover your sacred yoni love and direct yourself towards your greatest emergent expression.
So, don’t let yourself get distracted by the setting sun in the distance or the vultures flying over head. Stay tuned in to your inner rhythmic sea consistently. No matter what, go down there and listen to what your uterus is speaking to you, hear to what your womb has to say, give rise to the call of your ovaries, to the moan of your clit.
You are, in fact, a sexual creature.
You have a body that is made for creation and pleasure.
I invite you to procreate goodness and to nourish your sexuality in a way that feels delicious to you. Don’t doubt it, your body knows how. And so too does your voice know how to speak. You know when to say yes, like you are shouting towards a distance mountain, and when to say no, firm and strong, just like the strength of that same mountain.
When it comes to sex, you also have a personal story, unique to you and your yoni, that contains all of your experiences in the bedroom (…or perhaps out on a sandy beach or in a grassy field).
If you have a story that holds trauma, pain, sadness, or shame, don’t worry, you are not alone. These can most certainly be let go of… forgiven. There is nothing that remains outside of the scope of forgiveness, for yourself and others.
The act of forgiveness, as you learn to release these emotions, may bring you more ease in your approach to sexual relations, as well as to your monthly cycle. It has been said that dysmenorrhea as well as amenorrhea can be linked to sexual trauma. Perhaps this trauma is the reason we hold on to our blood. Clots and strings in your blood all speak too. Perhaps they are strings of attachment.
It’s time to let go. To release and transform the trauma.
It’s time to tap into the extraordinary power that you poses as a liberated, sexual goddess, and discover deep, profound pleasure.
As you move towards the discovery of what it is that is important for you in a sexual relationship, and explore your beautiful goddess sexuality further, I encourage you to incorporate these tips and delights:
Forgive yourself, pardon others for their ignorance, feel whatever it is you feel down there and let it be just as it is. Tune in to your uterus in a quiet and dark place, lying down, and offer to your sweet self this forgiveness. It can come from your heart, in a quiet whisper, or it can come as a loud sigh. Either way, keep attention focused on the feelings and sensations down there in your sacred womb. If you don’t feel any, just remain calm and peaceful… they will come. Your yoni will speak to you. She never stops speaking, but are you listening? Allow her to speak forgiveness.
Sit down with yourself on a nice day, perhaps outside, with a journal, your breath, and your body, and begin to write. Write about what it is that is important to you in regards to sexuality. Set top lines and bottom lines. Write about what pleases you…your most kinky fantasy…or your deepest desire. You could even write a poem of erotica.
Feel it for yourself. Use your own hands and explore. Play with all different motions and see what it is that gets you going, then, when a partner joins you, you take your pleasure as your responsibility and know how to articulate what it is you like. This helps them, because for your partner, one of the most beautiful things to witness is you in ecstasy. And it helps you…we all know orgasm feels great.
Sex is not just orgasm, it is the process, it is the whole journey and how much you can be there with all that you feel, right there, right here. Before hand bathe together, get fresh, stay naked, and play. Laugh together. Fill your space with the scents of vanilla bean, sandalwood, or jasmine and delight in them. Put your favorite sexy music on in the background. Light your space with candles – just bright enough to gaze upon the beauty of one another. Explore eachothers body as if it were a map, look for the hot spots, kiss all over, activate from the head to the toes.
Really let yourself have it. Go all the way. When you are in the sacred space of a fruitful relationship, express to your partner your fantasies, and work together to make them reality. Set aside days for making love and have that be all that you do. Continue letting go and relaxing…there is no need to be tense and hold back an orgasm. Be vulnerable, be fierce, moan, howl!
Cuddle up and ride out the second half of the delicousness – it’s still happening. Use coconut oil with lavender essential oil to give each other massages after the peaks have turned to rolling hills, and oceans have turned to streams. Then, gently head towards the kitchen to savor this mighty fine lovers drink:
2 cups of warm milk (take your pick: cows, goats, rice, almond, cashew, soy)
Spices to taste, in order from more to less:
1 tbsp Honey
1 tbsp Ghee (clarified butter)
To prepare: Warm the milk first on the stove on a simmer, then add the Ginger and Cardamom (if pods) and let them seep while your fall again in love with eachother, add the powdered spices next, ghee, and finally the honey.
Head back to bed and enjoy the warmth together.
Julie MacAdam is a creative artist, yoga teacher, body worker, and lover of the earth. She is founder of Medicinal Changes, through which she offers herbal medicine and consultations as well as bodymind practices.